I’ve slept with four men and have been unable to reach orgasm or get any pleasure. Now I feel as if I can’t do anything rightI’m 18 years old, and have been sexually active for the past two years, having slept with four men. My issue is that I have never felt truly pleasured in bed. It’s not that my partners have been bad lovers – a couple have been truly good and doting and tried everything to help me – but I have never been able to finish or even feel any form of true pleasure out of sex. I don’t feel numb down there, but I might as well be; all I feel is movement. I have never even been able to orgasm by myself. It feels like a massive build up, but there is a wall where everything feels like too much and I can’t push myself over. I wonder if maybe it’s because of my anxiety about being good? I have usually felt as if I can’t do anything right or well enough. But even when I am full of confidence and fully relaxed, it’s no different. My self-esteem is absolutely destroyed and I don’t know what to do about being able to pleasure others and being able to feel pleasure myself. Am I broken?You are certainly not “broken”. You just haven’t yet been able to enjoy sex with a partner. This is extremely common – especially at your age. It seems to me that you are expecting a lot of yourself – that you should achieve some kind of acceptable sexual goal, a certain level of pleasure, a type of partner connection. But you don’t really seem ready to enjoy any of it. Continue reading…
I’ve slept with four men and have been unable to reach orgasm or get any pleasure. Now I feel as if I can’t do anything right
I’m 18 years old, and have been sexually active for the past two years, having slept with four men. My issue is that I have never felt truly pleasured in bed. It’s not that my partners have been bad lovers – a couple have been truly good and doting and tried everything to help me – but I have never been able to finish or even feel any form of true pleasure out of sex. I don’t feel numb down there, but I might as well be; all I feel is movement. I have never even been able to orgasm by myself. It feels like a massive build up, but there is a wall where everything feels like too much and I can’t push myself over. I wonder if maybe it’s because of my anxiety about being good? I have usually felt as if I can’t do anything right or well enough. But even when I am full of confidence and fully relaxed, it’s no different. My self-esteem is absolutely destroyed and I don’t know what to do about being able to pleasure others and being able to feel pleasure myself. Am I broken?
You are certainly not “broken”. You just haven’t yet been able to enjoy sex with a partner. This is extremely common – especially at your age. It seems to me that you are expecting a lot of yourself – that you should achieve some kind of acceptable sexual goal, a certain level of pleasure, a type of partner connection. But you don’t really seem ready to enjoy any of it.